Monday, August 30, 2004
Wahay, I knew that doddering daiquiri dickhead Downer wanted to invade our "cousins". Now the armed forces are tooling up nicely
to accomplish this aim. I expect to get my conscription notification any second and boy what a party that will be. I can't wait to whack on a bit of Wagner and bomb the poop out of Wellington. The first target should of course be Sauron, followed by Saruman and that leftie Sheila, Helen Clark (my mum used to cut my hair like hers when I was 9). Then we'll fly south and occupy Footrot Flats and commandeer Duncan "Galloping Twat" Kerr to rustle up a hearty combat stew. We will have to buy some extra surveillance systems or "smart fridges" as they're known to gas any Mainland Colby sized spies lurking around by the butter.