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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Flight DJ802: Utopia

Thankfully this is turning out to be better than my last flight. No jokes and japes from the flight crew on this early morning Sydney to Melbourne express. Perhaps the poor souls had a late night out at the Bourbon & Beefsteak. So with no "entertainment" I reach for the inflight magazine, "Voyeur". Geddit? Sounds a bit rude doesn't it? Sounds a bit like peeping through a keyhole to see a couple of flight attendants at it. Well open the covers and there is no keyhole, no flight attendants. Just reviews where there are no crap books, no films that should never have been green lighted and assorted Virgin Blue agitprop. In fairness to Voyeur it was voted inflight magazine of the year 2003, so it might have gone downhill (I hear the current holder is Aeroflot's "Aarrgh!"). But wait, behold on page 11 there's an interview with Hollywood starlet Christina Applegate (I must be getting old as I've never heard of her). Amongst plugs for her new film "Anchorman", there is a gem:
Do you remember when women had to struggle to get recognised in the workplace?

It really wasn't that long ago. I mean it was in my lifetime that women were treated this way and not all the doors were open for them.
Thus proving that Hollywood starlets have memories that make Tony Abbott look like Dr Cognita - The Human Hard Drive (for more see Sedgwick). Either that or she is an embryo and has yet to be born. Maybe she is referring to blokes literally holding doors open rather than the figurative glass ceiling type of door. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe during this flight we have encountered some turbulence that has catapulted us into a parallel Earth. Not the Twilight Zone sort of plane struck by lightning parallel Earth with crappy stop motion dinosaurs. An Earth where all really are equal. A world where people don't pay over $100 for a t-shirt that advertises CK jeans just to show that they can afford to spend over $100 on a t-shirt (I think I'll go into business making personalised t-shirts with your bank balance written on them, it sort of takes the guesswork out of who to mingle with). A world where all have the means to acheive greatness.

Nah bollocks, when this plane lands I'll still be in Howard's Australia.


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